still a fairytale

once upon a time 

there was a young girl 

curly and tawny haired 

her home was filled with monsters 

that would scream and punch 

all through the night 

sometimes those monsters 

would even invade her in dreams 

their teeth would gnash as they’d chase her 

blindly through streets 

the young girl was always afraid 

so she began to knit 

her own dreams during the light 

in secret 

and away from prying eyes 

she was a princess 

an angel 

or a glitter-speckled fairy 

she realized she could be anything 

and those monsters

had no defense 

against the castle of her own design

*Published in From The Ashes: An International Anthology of Womxn's Poetry

weight of a word

age 22

the first time my therapist 

uses the forbidden term 

inc*st

i remember how that noun 

sank into my body 

an anvil dropping down down

into the sea

nowhere to be found 

for day weeks months 

i couldn’t even say the word

inc*st 

without wanting to vomit 

i even told my husband 

i wanted to die just to be reborn 

as if that would clean 

up those dirty places 

i dared not even touch 

so i stopped saying the word 

inc*st

called it the big bad 

big ugly 

my own personal Voldemort 

anything except the actual word 

to extricate myself from the reality 

that came barreling with it 

and that’s the problem 

you see 

how could i ever heal

from a word i refused to say?

i let that word place cuffs

upon my wrists 

shackles around my ankles 

and duct tape over my mouth 

the only way to break free 

i realized 

was to begin saying 

without shame or fear or filter 

that i survived 

the word no one ever wants to hear

*Published in From The Ashes: An International Anthology of Womxn's Poetry

bird of paradise

my untamed

hair

*Published in the October 2019 issue of Stardust Haiku

maggots

your

weaponized

hands

*

as if you never left the pull of night

*

forgiveness rounding the mountain’s peak

*Published by Weird Laburnum on 10/21/19

deep space

finally I hear

the pulse of heaven

*

infinite horizon

how much

I have yet to learn

*

dewdrop

for a second

our worlds collide

*

gentle rain

my present

now sweet

*

hope

in my vision

hundreds of stars

*

bright sky

the universe

needs you

*

heart of the cosmos

breathing in

all that will ever be

*

sunlit expanse

this must be where

healing begins

*

answered prayers

when planets

align

*Published in Incense Dreams 3.1

believe me

every poem

is a love song

for you

*Displayed in The Art of Recovery exhibition at Edison State Community College

thesis

i don’t write

because i need comfort or love

or strength

i already have those in spades

from the one who crafted me

long before

mother even carried my torch

i write because

far too many people hang

their heads low

sink into their shame

simply because they still

believe someone else’s filth

dirties their bodies

and forever taints their souls

*Displayed in The Art of Recovery exhibition at Edison State Community College

acceptance

today

i will do nothing more than float

float in the infinite ocean

of what could be

face up

arms open as wide as the universe

ready to feel

to embrace

the dark

the light

the sanctity

of all that is

and all that will be

*Displayed in The Art of Recovery exhibition at Edison State Community College

spark

when i cannot feel

the pulse of love under my skin

i run my hands

over grass warmed

by the sun’s tender light

there i say

is the key

that touch

that connection

zip lines to my heart

and says open please open

you are safe

*Displayed in The Art of Recovery exhibition at Edison State Community College

a simple truth

only after i forgave

could i smell the bloomed rose

*Displayed in The Art of Recovery exhibition at Edison State Community College

upgrades

i traded

his salt for honey

his venom for medicine

and that

my loves

is how i survived

*Displayed in The Art of Recovery exhibition at Edison State Community College

take my hand

at what point

will every last one of us

admit

we hold more pain

in our bodies

our minds

our hearts

than we have the strength

to carry alone

*Displayed in The Art of Recovery exhibition at Edison State Community College

dissonance

you say

there are no dirty rooms in your soul

yet i

have been cleaning them each night

*Displayed in The Art of Recovery exhibition at Edison State Community College

prelude

in D major

the sun’s slow ascent

*

free jazz

all at once

birdsong

*

syncopation

the wind

before the storm

*

coda

breathing in

day’s fall

*Published in the autumn 2019 edition of The Bamboo Hut

dynamite when prophesy blows my dust

*

not your ordinary eclipse the anvil of remembrance

*

dark matter unmaking our daily bread

*

pounding on the echo chamber door my no to your yes

*

head smashed arguing orange until green

*

what were you saying these tentacles in me

*

going going gone the black of pitch

*

into June's hymn I recast your death

*

unsheathing daggers your bones expose the lie

*

road to home peeling skin in the graveyard

*

my other name the redwood hums a processional

*

one with Polaris and yet the amygdala kicks

*

electric rainbow in the thick of the body

*

divisible by infinity all that could have been

*

where your story ends I combust into a rose

*Published in my first e-chapbook: says the rose (Yavanika Press 2019)

**Selected as Book of the Week by The Haiku Foundation on 10/15/24

It’s Not Insomnia If You Love It

within

the moon’s glow

I understood

why saints

fixed their eyes

upon the heavens

why artists

never sleep

*Published in Molecule: a tiny lit mag (Issue 1)

I’m happy to announce that my first e-chapbook, says the rose (Yavanika Press 2019), is now available for download. You can view it for free here.

omen

your

mouth

opens

*

wasp

sting

more

bullets

with

(in)

souls

*Published by Weird Laburnum on 9/10/19

contents under pressure to be human

*Published in Issue 1.8 of Human/Kind Journal
**Nominated for The Haiku Foundation’s Touchstone Individual Poem Award by the editor

if not for arias / I would have / breathed / in dirt

*

threading / a cosmos a garden / together / buck moon

*

the black / bird sings / why then / loaded guns

*Published in Otata 45 (September 2019)

the lake

there’s a lake

i watch each day

in her waves i see

diamonds

stars

and distant planets

i’ll only ever travel in dreams

she’ll never know

how much

she has healed my spirit 

in this life

except when i return 

to the source of all things

and embrace her hand

in thanks

*Performed at Art Inspiring Art (Brown’s Run Country Club) on 8/30/19

let them in

if

you ever feel alone

go outside

and look up to the heavens

those clouds

those stars

are with you in this moment

they’ll share

your joys and aches

if

you let them in your heart

*Performed at Art Inspiring Art (Brown’s Run Country Club) on 8/30/19

first steps

when i started to speak up

i barely recognized

my own voice

as if hearing it for the first time

i had to learn

its cadence and cracks

and let its imperfections 

feel safe

to my own ears and tongue

*Performed at Art Inspiring Art (Brown’s Run Country Club) on 8/30/19

everyday grace

if flowers only knew

how lovely

how special they are

they might develop an ego

as we humans

have a tendency to do

instead they share

their life without pretense

even when they wither

lose their petals

and breathe their last breaths

they do it with so much grace

you’d think a ballerina

was taking bow

after a solo in Swan Lake

*Performed at Art Inspiring Art (Brown’s Run Country Club) on 8/30/19

city of dreams

this evening

i will take

the sun’s hand

in mine

and we shall roam

together

in the city of dreams

expertly weaving

fantasy and reality

until the moon

once again

exits the land

*Performed at Art Inspiring Art (Brown’s Run Country Club) on 8/30/19