still a fairytale

once upon a time 

there was a young girl 

curly and tawny haired 

her home was filled with monsters 

that would scream and punch 

all through the night 

sometimes those monsters 

would even invade her in dreams 

their teeth would gnash as they’d chase her 

blindly through streets 

the young girl was always afraid 

so she began to knit 

her own dreams during the light 

in secret 

and away from prying eyes 

she was a princess 

an angel 

or a glitter-speckled fairy 

she realized she could be anything 

and those monsters

had no defense 

against the castle of her own design

*Published in From The Ashes: An International Anthology of Womxn's Poetry

weight of a word

age 22

the first time my therapist 

uses the forbidden term 

inc*st

i remember how that noun 

sank into my body 

an anvil dropping down down

into the sea

nowhere to be found 

for day weeks months 

i couldn’t even say the word

inc*st 

without wanting to vomit 

i even told my husband 

i wanted to die just to be reborn 

as if that would clean 

up those dirty places 

i dared not even touch 

so i stopped saying the word 

inc*st

called it the big bad 

big ugly 

my own personal Voldemort 

anything except the actual word 

to extricate myself from the reality 

that came barreling with it 

and that’s the problem 

you see 

how could i ever heal

from a word i refused to say?

i let that word place cuffs

upon my wrists 

shackles around my ankles 

and duct tape over my mouth 

the only way to break free 

i realized 

was to begin saying 

without shame or fear or filter 

that i survived 

the word no one ever wants to hear

*Published in From The Ashes: An International Anthology of Womxn's Poetry

bird of paradise

my untamed

hair

*Published in the October 2019 issue of Stardust Haiku

maggots

your

weaponized

hands

*

as if you never left the pull of night

*

forgiveness rounding the mountain’s peak

*Published by Weird Laburnum on 10/21/19

deep space

finally I hear

the pulse of heaven

*

infinite horizon

how much

I have yet to learn

*

dewdrop

for a second

our worlds collide

*

gentle rain

my present

now sweet

*

hope

in my vision

hundreds of stars

*

bright sky

the universe

needs you

*

heart of the cosmos

breathing in

all that will ever be

*

sunlit expanse

this must be where

healing begins

*

answered prayers

when planets

align

*Published in Incense Dreams 3.1

believe me

every poem

is a love song

for you

*Displayed in The Art of Recovery exhibition at Edison State Community College

thesis

i don’t write

because i need comfort or love

or strength

i already have those in spades

from the one who crafted me

long before

mother even carried my torch

i write because

far too many people hang

their heads low

sink into their shame

simply because they still

believe someone else’s filth

dirties their bodies

and forever taints their souls

*Displayed in The Art of Recovery exhibition at Edison State Community College

acceptance

today

i will do nothing more than float

float in the infinite ocean

of what could be

face up

arms open as wide as the universe

ready to feel

to embrace

the dark

the light

the sanctity

of all that is

and all that will be

*Displayed in The Art of Recovery exhibition at Edison State Community College

spark

when i cannot feel

the pulse of love under my skin

i run my hands

over grass warmed

by the sun’s tender light

there i say

is the key

that touch

that connection

zip lines to my heart

and says open please open

you are safe

*Displayed in The Art of Recovery exhibition at Edison State Community College

a simple truth

only after i forgave

could i smell the bloomed rose

*Displayed in The Art of Recovery exhibition at Edison State Community College

upgrades

i traded

his salt for honey

his venom for medicine

and that

my loves

is how i survived

*Displayed in The Art of Recovery exhibition at Edison State Community College

take my hand

at what point

will every last one of us

admit

we hold more pain

in our bodies

our minds

our hearts

than we have the strength

to carry alone

*Displayed in The Art of Recovery exhibition at Edison State Community College

dissonance

you say

there are no dirty rooms in your soul

yet i

have been cleaning them each night

*Displayed in The Art of Recovery exhibition at Edison State Community College